Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/06/17 17:22ducky wrote: i am going to a wedding friday.. I am a bundle of nerves...I hate being in a crowd and going to new places ...I am more comfortable around ppl I know and familier places..I never use to feel like this
Youll love it...youll be dressed to the nines and in good company xxxxx
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ducky
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Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/06/21 19:41went to the wedding ...saw a lot of ppl I have not seen for a long time...(bride and bridesmaids looked stuning) for the first time in my life had to use a walking stick in public..felt vonurable only my family have seen me with stick ... I know it is some-think i will have to get use to... I am still me to ppl that know me...but I feel that strangers are staring at me because of the stick and the way I walk
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Scotty
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Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/06/22 09:03You are a lovely lady also a very caring person,walk tall if they look it's only because your special.
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suzan
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Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/06/22 10:01ducky wrote: went to the wedding ...saw a lot of ppl I have not seen for a long time...(bride and bridesmaids looked stuning) for the first time in my life had to use a walking stick in public..felt vonurable only my family have seen me with stick ... I know it is some-think i will have to get use to... I am still me to ppl that know me...but I feel that strangers are staring at me because of the stick and the way I walk
yes,i know what you mean.....that first time out in public arena,with any disability is a difficult step to take.......but it gets easier.
..i hate the looks and attitude of the ignorant masses out there!!.......stare them straight in the face, and give attitude.....make them feel small and stupid....give them guilt....challenge them................sometimes it aint easy...but boy they deserve it !!
...like scotty said ducky, you are a wonderful,caring and special person.. ...we love you here...dont ever forget that....and know that we are behind you.
xx suzan xx
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tonypark
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Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/06/22 11:53I walk in fear of falling down, Lifes hard to bear without a froun, I know my beauty comes from within, That thought quite often restores my grin, Those who love me know me well, I am Ducky,a lady ,in a body hell, My friends,like me,all fight their pain, My friends are here ...and will always remain xxxxxxx
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ducky
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Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/06/22 17:14thank you suzan tony and scotty...I have been fighting a battle to keep out of a wheel-chair and not to use sticks for nearly 40 yrs...I think part of my problem is that i did not expect it to kick in with a vengence about 6 to 7 yrs ago...I have alwas had a proplem walking and getting up and down stairs but some how kept going... I will admit to you my friends I am scared... but I am truly glad i joined this site... ppl here understand what i mean even if I cant explain it all propley... tony you can write me poetry any time you like ps It is only in my hope town I feel worse..god is it my pride that makes me feel worse
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tonypark
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Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/06/22 18:58No Ducky...think its your pride that drives us on....or just blind stubborness xxxxxx
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ducky
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Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/06/28 17:41this site is great.. I truly hope the members will make it fantastic..karl deserves it for starting it up and giving us a new chatroom.. only by us all joining in and getting to know each other better will it work.. we are here because we want to be part of a site where we know ppl will understand some of the proplems and feelings we have..so hello to all the members I have not had a chance to meet..
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ducky
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Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/07/19 15:53the one thing about a small site is that you can talk about how you feel ,sad, happy, unsure, pain, joy or if you need help. I have found myself telling friends on the site things I have supressed and joined in debates.. I am not judged or told dont be stupid..i am not made to feel inferer. i am excepted for what I am. thank you all members
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ducky
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Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/08/19 15:16I am getting better on compt and internet..Have learnt about tabs.. I can now do it without knocking myself off the site and having to sign in again ..I often wondered how ppl can be online here and still able to do other things elsewhere..
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tonypark
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Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/08/19 15:20Not only am I on my laptop..But Im juggling and playing the piano as well xxxxx
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ducky
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Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/08/25 16:33tonypark wrote: Not only am I on my laptop..But Im juggling and playing the piano as well xxxxx
a man of many talents it seems xxxx
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tonypark
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Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/08/26 09:08ducky wrote: tonypark wrote: Not only am I on my laptop..But Im juggling and playing the piano as well xxxxx
a man of many talents it seems xxxx
Multi-Tasking and Multi-Talented...Ive not told you what Im doing with my tongue either xxxx
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I know before anyone says anything what the right thing is to do say etc ok? My best mate is leaving me behind it would seem. And she is doing this for all the right reasons and a good friend should be so happy for her and the better half of me is delighted really i am. It just seems like the end of an era you know? We met five years ago in a battered wives refuge. (a whole other story not for today ok?) and we have been solid mates ever since. I was there when she went to court and prosecuted that basterd she used to call a husband and she helped me choose my new names when i had to hide my identity. We have been to hell and back and always there no matter what. Well five years down the line she has her own place and a job and has got the whole thing together. And she met a man recently and he moved in and she,s over the moon. And i never see her and she never calls and we just seem to be losing eachother. Maybe im expecting too much here guys i mean i am in a relationship but i always have put nicci and her needs from me tantamount and martin understood why. He new guy is lovely and treats her like a queen but one thing bothers me. Every time i call she is drinking or drunk! Last time i went over she was drunk at the pub. Now i know she has had damn near no social life and her kids are over 12 too. Im being selfish arnt i? I love nicci to bits and im worried im being unfair just cos i miss her so much. I should be made up she has a new guy in her life. Im feeling really torn over this everyone can anyone offer advice? Even if it,s to say be happy for her ya cow??? Cat xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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being something of a hermit i recognise a bit of wot u going through here....plus...i think i treat my really good friends a bit like this.........now im feeling guilty....have to call them up..........thing is, my friends know wot im like and also they similiar...at the end of the day, i am there for them and i know they there for me too......yr friend prob feels the same about you...give her a call..
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ducky
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Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/08/26 18:06Cat it is not easy for us when friends move on or find new parters are lives feel changed.. we want them to be happy but we miss how things use to be . at the momment all you can do is be there for her if things change..
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tonypark
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Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/08/26 18:09Cat sweetheart....Sometimes our instincts are what give us the Edge...particularly when it comes to close,close friends.....Im still sitting here with jaw dropped ,not having any idea what you must have been through...In my book,any man who raises any kind of hand to a woman is NOTHING and is lower than the lowest pond life..We dont allow that where I grew up....kisses and hugs and more kisses... As for your friend...you know in your heart whats right and the best way of dealing with it xxxx good luck xxxxx
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TheLadyMagenta
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Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/08/26 19:09Well tony my love it,s 5 years 7 months 275 days and 23 hours since i got away from a man that would probably scare most men. (note i used to live in northern ireland?) I cant talk about it yet.......
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ducky
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Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/09/01 15:45I have been thinking about life.. ppl say we choose are own paths,others say it is destiny kismit Gods will ect ect.. what ever you want to call it ppl you meet through lives juorney also help to shape it..I have met a lot of coloufull characters. ladies of the night. Romany Gypsys, lords and ladys, those on the fringes of society the rich the poor, diffrent organisations and every day ppl .who have all brought me to where I am now. To them all a big thank you,for being there when i needed you...
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ducky
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Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/09/03 20:36going on from the above I have wonderfull memories of ppl I met..at about the age of ten I went with some of my family to stay at an Elizabethen.House owned by lord and lady..... It was a childs dream, with stables lake woods and loads of outhouse buildings..Inside was a big hall with diffrent rooms leading off and a balcony runing around it.lord ..... had a big openback truck he used to pick up coal in.. We ran around with no shoes on and piled into the back of it with pocketmonny to spend at the market in town.with soot on feet and faces we brought what we wanted..We only had lessons for a few hours in the morning then we ran wild..The beds where just matresses on the floor.lady .....was a wonderfull character lounging in the poster bed with curtains around it. Life for us was carefree They let rommany Gypsies use the grounds for a while untill they moved on. That was where I met and became friends with 2 Daughters of one of the familys and we hatched a plot for me to runaway with them as I wanted to become a gypsy
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ducky
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Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/09/05 16:08To understand the question WHY would I want to runaway with my 2 romany friends when I was already at that time living a carefree life. means I will have to backtrack a bit and explain the personalites of the people in that house and my own..I will give the other two friends I had as well diffrent names One was the youngest daughter of the house who was my age I will call her Dolly, she was a spoilt brat with blond curly hair and blue eyes very pretty and she know it. My other friend was there with other children, because the owners of the house took in children for fostering or care she will be called Jane age eleven she had brown hair cant remember colour of eyes a very quiet nerves girl ..I was there because my family know the owners.we where there for a completely diffrent reason. I was all arms and legs with wavy auburn hair and green eyes. Dolly was nasty and alwas trying to make trouble for jane. even at 10 I use to stick up for myself and friends if they where in trouble
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ducky
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Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/09/07 20:06LOL..to cut along story short,It was over chocolet that things came to a head.. I brought it and put it in my draw It went missing I was mad.I wanted to know who had pinched it Dolly said Jane had taken it,Jane said she had not I belived her.The mother said the growing ups would sort it out.dolly was smirking,Jane was crying I yelled dolly was a little liar she took it. I was told to go to my bedroom for saying that.. while there a couple of children told me they had seen dolly eating choc..I lost my temper stormed back to the mothers bed room grabed hold of dolly.Grabed her by the hair pinned her on the bed and started whacking her the usuall girl thing.she was screaming her head of, her mother stood there shocked, everybody ( except one of her older brothers,sister and the grown ups ) where cheering me on....
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TheLadyMagenta
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Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/09/09 11:32Oh well done ducky!!!!! She bloody needed it the little sneak!! you are fabulous my dear!!!!
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ducky
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Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/09/09 15:51things that surround this first event where later told with glee by the children and some family members.I never heard or saw what was going on I was busy trying to hit dolly.I was hauld of her by the father who bellowed for silience then when i told him what was said. He asked his daughter for the truth.she said she had taken it but was going to replace it and was sorry.The mother seem to think that was the end of it and told us to make up, I refused and ran out of the room. Jane followed me.. later on dolly and her older brother (who Looked like her and was just as nasty )came to my familys bedroom.I sat on the matress that was on the floor. dolly sat down,said I was her best friend bla bla bla and Jane would be sorry for trying to split us up (this time I truly lost it). next thing i know I am being dragged of her and being shaking and yelled at.I must admit she was white and looked a bit ruffed up,I was shaking and crying,they got a doctor to have a quick look at her the brother had ran for help
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ducky
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Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/09/09 19:49Scotty wrote: This is great Ducky have you ever thought of writing a book? Scotty loads of family,friends and diffrent ppl told me I should write a book about my life, trouble is diffrent ages brought diffrent events and ppl into my life,looking back on it all I lead a charmed,whacky,hillarouse,funny life 2-10 10-15 15-18 18-21 21-now ( in the later part of this phrase death and pain walked into my life)
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Scotty
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Re:My space -room ..for feelings - 2008/09/10 09:42Ducky you must write a book get someone to ghost it for you,it would be a best seller I'm sure.
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..i hate the looks and attitude of the ignorant masses out there!!.......stare them straight in the face, and give attitude.....make them feel small and stupid....give them guilt....challenge them................sometimes it aint easy...but boy they deserve it !!
