suzan
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THE SARCOID MONSTER - 2008/05/25 13:33
 tHIS IS A SECTION FOR THOSE FRUSTRATIONS OF THIS DISEASE
for expletives,outbursts, creativity, frustrations, emotional angst, attitude, family/personal effects, etc etc etc
earlier this year i wrote this piece to try to describe my feelings at that time, i thought i would share it with you here....
THE SARCOID MONSTER
20 years on may 16 2008 ive lived with neurosarcoidosis.
what should i do for this anniversary?
a hard one that question......ALL THOSE MEMORIES !!!...................reality hits in..............hey suzan, dont joke with this one!.................you keep strong there.........its trying to take over.....im not gonna let it......but you have no control on this, if it wants you, its gonna be with you!............silence.
I AM ITS HOST
it is unwelcome, it knows that, it stays with me, lurking and sulking in the backgound, kicking me hard if i try to outrun it.
i cant get away from it.
it leaches my energy,
a parasite of my soul
and where it has been, in the avenues of my brain it leaves it huge dark footprints, embedded and fossilized.
but my brain is my friend, it is clever......it can find new lanes.
it has started, the sarcoid monster knows.........it is jealous..........it wants me for itself.
HOW I HATE THE SARCOID MONSTER !!
today i am drained, i cannot fight back..........let it do its worst.
who knows what tomorrow will bring? .........i will never lose hope
for.......my brain is my friend, it is clever......it can find new lanes.
but its tired right now.........................let it rest.
and i will never give up .
(written 03 april 2008)
xx suzan xx .............. now my friends...kick ass !!!
Post edited by: suzan, at: 2008/05/25 13:35
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.....NO...I JUST WANT TO VENT...!!!
..........it was a scream...
