Hello out there:-)

Hi there, I've had social phobia since I was..... can't remember actually (since ever) and varying degrees of OCD since the age of sevenish. Which is like oooo 20 years :whistle: in all I guess. I was only diagnosed in the last five years or so, so basicaly I grew up (a bit;) ) knowing there was something wrong and being told I was 'highly strung' or 'a bit shy' to explain my fears. So to sum up I'm kind of used to going through life being lonely and with people thinking I was weird or a loner (I'm not a loner at all, I love socialising, I was just desperately scared of meeting new people so I tended to avoid it). I don't want to give a false impression though, I've had girlfriends even though I've never been on a date, I've had many friends even though I had to drink to socialise (unless I knew someone really well and even then I'd still be nervous). See the thing is I love life, I'm optomistic, I can laugh at myself and love making people laugh, I love flirting and am very confident. If it wasn't for the untreated social phobia I think I could definately be described as an extrovert - the life and soul of the partyB). I'm not big headed at all I don't think I'm better than anyone. All these positives desert me as I'm on my wayy to a party, or if I ask a girl out, all I can think about is how shit I am, how I'm not going to succeed :blush: . Harsh but I'm not in need of sympathy, I need friends, a lover, a sense that I'm worth something even if I aam unemployed. I think that people are so much more than a profession, it's not employment that defines a person, it's everything they do, everything they don't do. I've had a job for a couple of months at most in my entire life, I'm not lazy but all my life I've been too scared of rejection to get a job I've been hassled the whole time by most people to do something with my life, or called a scrounger or the eterneal political football that is the benefit claimant (Jeremy Kyles favourite crowd pleaser - idiot). All this time I made various excuses or avoided the subject because I didn't know what was genuinely wrong. Even if I trust someone enough to tell them what's genuinely wrong with me when the inevitable 'so what do you do?' question comes up, they rarely seem to understand and every time I see one member of my family who knows I'm ill and why I dont work they start an argument with me about when I'm going to get a job. Oh dear this is turning into a rant, it's only supposed to be an intro eh? Lol. I'm really sorry I'm just eager to get all this out of my system because I've had virtually no social life for the last five or more years I'm gagging for a good long chat with someone who understands and I need a hug dammit physical preferably but virtual one would be a damn good start! Thanks for reading this far, you really are a trooper:) If that hasn't put you off (don't worry, I think I've got most of it out now!) or you want to talk about your experiences with these problems or any others, get in touch, ahhhhh go on:woohoo: !

Hello and welcome to the site.....Im still digesting your comments so might take a bit of time to respond

Hiya and a very warm welcome to the site.You will find lots of friendship and support here and I look forward to chatting with you x

Thanks both of you I just took a look and thats quite some introduction! I guess a couple of lines of text would have done it! Oh well thats me! Thanks for the welcome it's nice that people take the time out to look at the introductions, don't know if I'm going to go on the chat room yet, I'm quite shy around new people, but I'm sure I'll find friends on here and who knows maybe more lifes full of surprises.<br><br>Post edited by: Le_Coq_Sexif, at: 2009/12/27 06:54

welcome to able-here
you rant all you like we do lol

Thanks Ducky, it's theraputic aint it? I got to let it out somewhere - else there'll be ructions:evil: !:dry: (Not really though, but if I can't write it down, I'll end up talking to myself - again:blink: )

i decided if I talk to myself
listen to myself and answer myself
the conversation will alwas be intellegent sensable and witty :woohoo:
I have no aguments about that :huh: :blink:

:laugh: You're a woman of some considerable intelligence ducky and I can't fault your philosophy on the subject, as Blackadder once remarked \&quot;it's the only way I can be assured of intelligent conversation\&quot;....... Present company excepted of course! :dry:

Hello and a warm welcome to the Ablehere community! It’s very nice to meet you. I have read your message. We probably haven’t been through exactly the same things, but I can certainly relate to what you are and have been experiencing. Just know that you are never alone.
Ever since I started primary school, I have been dealing with shyness and social anxiety. I am now 20 years old and I have developed and become much more confident the past few years, but I still feel uncomfortable in some situations. When I was a child, I had a slight speech impediment. People didn’t always understand me perfectly and I think this was the biggest reason why I was so afraid of talking in public. I kept myself to myself and tried to avoid social gatherings as much as possible. Every day I said to myself, “Something is wrong with me. I am not good for anything”.
When I was 15, I joined the Swedish association for blind and visually impaired youth. Three years later, I became the President of the local association here in the south west of Sweden. Now I am in the national board. This work has definitely contributed to my increased self-confidence and I have developed my ability to communicate with different kind of people.
I didn’t have a very good time in school and I just wished I had someone to laugh with, to have fun with and to share things with. I was hoping that things would change when I started a new school about four years ago, but it just got worse. All they talked about was parties, how drunk they had been and what embarrassing things they had done. That didn’t interest me at all. At the beginning I tried to ask or tell them things just to get to know them better, but with no success, so I decided to just ignore them.
I continued to do my best in school and got good results in most subjects. The hardest subjects were the ones in which participation in group discussions was required.
Sometimes it’s very challenging to take part in a conversation if many people are talking all at once. Many times I know what I want to say, but if I start at the same time as someone else, I automatically stop and let them talk. Then when it’s silent again, I have often forgotten what I was trying to say earlier.
I guess the best thing I can do is continue to practise.
This is much longer than I expected. I just wanted to say hello and let you know that I am here if you want to talk.
Please take care. Huge hugs!
Julia

Thankyou so much for your kindness Julia, you have a beautiful heart, I will message you also, it sounds like you've achieved so much with your life already, I would love to talk to you. You're a sweetheart. I,m sending you a big bear hug back (it's a gentle bear though, don't worry:laugh: )Thank you so much again.

You seem like a very kind person. I have sent you a message now. Let me know if you got it. I am not sure if it got through or not. I am having some problems with my Internet connection.