What happened next

Mellisa, in quite a loud voice, not quite knowing where the thought had come from. "Is your hovercraft full of eels?", shouted Cedric, as Mellisa, by this time, was some distance away. Mellisa cupped her hand to her ear, "Pardon? What are you saying?". Cedric Shrugged and shouted back, "Never mind, let's just get out of this bloody rain!". Bertha meanwhile was

feeling more tan ever disorientated by the contemplation of the question of purpose, how to distinguish between the meaningless random and the purposive. She had removed a pasty from her mammary apparatus intent on munching and Cedric and Melissa appeared begging a share. The significance and effect on her purpose could only be guessed at in the second before that present time became the past and why was Melisa so very fragrant? Perhaps a name conferred sweetness how

Mellisa and Cedric stopped and thought. Life is becoming very random and we have lost the plot. Philosophy and long hard words are fine but where do we go from here! I know said Cedric We could ask Will where he gets his magic elixir and see if that increases our brain power and our abilities to link with the folk of the earth. They might have been scarey but at least we were thinking. Mellisa agreed. It was another boring bloody Sunday and she wanted to see some action, whatever it was. They decided to contact Will by .................

any means, but no, he was not available. He had covered a great distance on his mobility scooter, and was now sporting a kitchen foil skull cap, which made him impervious to all outside psychic influences. Cedric stiffened. "I'm hearing voices!" he said, "Many, different, voices, coming from that hole in the road! I think they're debating what their intentions and motivations are!". "What do you mean?" asked Mellisa. who had now wearily walked back to Cedric. "Well," said Cedric, licking his lips with a very uncertain look on his face, "I'm getting a feeling that there are several different factions down that hole, I don't understand it all, it could be their weakness, but it could be their strength...". Bertha's thigh-dominated frame joined the scene. "What are you going on about Cedders?" she asked, shaking her head slowly. Cedric looked down at the ground. He shuffled his feet like a small child. "I just thought..." he began to say. Bertha roared at him, "Thinking is not enough! We need to act!". She took out her flute and began to play again...

The living dead in the hole stopped talking as they heard the row from above ground. It was like children's nails on a chalk board to them and they covered their ears and fell to the floor. 'Bertha' Cedric grabbed her gerbil like cheeks 'I could kiss you' he said beaming a smile 'You played an awful tune and bide us sometime.' He took a deep breath 'Now I need to find my special cook book'.

Mellisa gave Cedric a quizical look. "You cook do you?" she asked. "You mean magic potions, that kind of thing?". Bertha chuckled without humour. "Cheese on toast, more like" she said. "No!" said Cedric, slightly miffed, "This book was written many years ago, by Fanny Craddock. She was a white witch you know. It has recipes for inervening in the afairs of the spirit world" he said. "Fanny was certainly a witch." observed Bertha, then added, "So you want this book do you?". Cedric nodded. "Where is it?" she asked. "I think it's in my desk drawer. The middle one". Bertha took out her adapted Argos Sat-Nav, made a few adjustments and pressed a button. A book appeared in her free hand...

Cedric smiled at Bertha as she passed it to him. 'And what pray tell are you going to concoct for our undead friends?' she said in her chirpy voice. 'Ah' said Cedric 'now that would be telling' he said wagging his finger at her, Melissa watched the couple with their banter and wondered if in the past they had been more than good friends.

They had in fact been the best of enemies, that is their relationship had been strictly manipulative, each ensuring they remain free from other entanglements so as to be sure of a central position in the life of the other. The occult finally prised them apart.
No cookery book changed hands but the joint grimoire from the days when the pair had flirted or more truly submerged themselves in witchcraft when summoning of spirits good and bad, divination, spells, protective amulets and charms had pushed them close to insanity. The ritual sex had been frantic and fun but burnt out by its sheer intensity. Now the grimoire could come into its own, the only decision was whether to summon bind or

the spell in the correct way, while Cedric and Bertha put their heads together and discussed what was the next best move Melissa had started to wander round the old rickety house and had come across an old dusty mirror and someone had written words in the dust. 'SPECTUS DEMEITORY ETOCKLEEI' she read just as Cedric come running into the long hallway screaming 'NNNOOOOOO!' 'Oh crap!' said Bertha behind him.

come to the conclusion that diversity is the spice of life, that engaging with an active, thought-filled mind does no harm at all, when non-hostile intentions preside.

Cedric was suddenly aware of his own limitations and failings. What did he really feel about Bertha? He admired her mind and abilities and those thighs...But was he being distracted? Cedric did not usually think in these terms. Ok, Bertha had said that action was required. Without warning, he embraced Bertha. "Play me like you would your flute", he said, and waited for the music...

"It's funny the way some websites work", Cedric observed, "No regard for chronological progression..."

Chronology is not the only fruit.