What happened next

preferred the hynotic music to let her escape from the world. She was not called Big Bertha for nothing.She sat, budda-like, blubber bulging,bolstering her senses and let the air take over her thoughts, to shield herself from the pains and reality of living. Meanwhile Cedric,Lara, the reporter and the two sirs had a pow wow. It was a good match. Each brought their own strength and gifts to the discussion. "I can teleport", said Will and you Sir Motrym can be philosophical and can consider all options. Cedric is the peace maker. What we need now is

is an intellect capable of harnessing the talents and forging a workable plan of action; he or she must

some how get Bertha back as she was the glue, each of their talents where useless without the Bertha Glue. So it was decided Melissa was going to go and talk to Bertha and try and make her see she was the back bone of the group and was needed urgently. So Melissa went and saw Bertha and after an hour talking to her she arrived back to Cedric with some news. 'She will only come back if William De Smyth will leave.' Melissa bowed her head at William so he wouldn't see her face go red. 'Sorry William' she said in a small voice.

"I wonder Will. Could you go to the Old Dog and Duck and ask dear John what was in his letter and perhaps get some grog. I'm dying to know what was said and to be honest Will your elixir has a strange effect on me and several others " she said with a smirk. Will looked pleased and leapt upon his steed- his mobility scooter. He purred and the scooter purred and snaked up the hill. Will was secretly pleased to be rid of the group and with a backward wave disappeard.Dottie looked aghast."Don't we need Will to help us" The rest of the group exchanged side-long glances. Cedric, eyes askance, Muttered, "We need Will like a pain the arse. He's a good man but not in circumstances like these. He tends to act first and think later and now we need more than a modicum of diplomacy.To be honest Dot, your dabbling in the black arts has left us all with trouble trouble, Double jeopardy. You may have magiced the tricatops away but now we have turbulent cascading torrents of water everywhere. I don't know about you but I do not have fully-comprehensive insurance against waterr damage and my garden will be washed away, along with my plants. Not to mention my pottting shed." Motrym sighed:"God this man is impossible, concerned only with the minuitia of life. We need to look at the bigger picture (secretly he did have fully comp.) What I would do" he said, " is to pray" As a philosopher he had considered religion and found it wanting but he did have a vested interest- Shares in the monastries and a horde of gold to sell for the making of icons. He also knnew that many were scared of the pagans, their one-ness with the earth and their supposed orgies. "We could be liike the Ark but an Ark of people and..............

what we need are a number of cubits and a span or two, also a couple of years to construct a vessel capable of safely floating. A boat with a shallow draught and towering superstructure would only lead to disaster eventually, perhaps tying ourselves to a raft would be best. Praying about it wont work, will only waste time and disappoint those credulous enough to believe in a deity. Then again as we've already used one form of magic perhaps prayer

will suffice but I doubt it. Just in case let's build a raft." The men collected axes and began to fell trees. The women, knowing their place collected animal hides which they tore into strips "Bertha" said Motrym can you collect your caudroon and some of you otherrs take panniers and go to the abyss. Some of that solidified viscuous stuff, when melted could waterproof the raft, I think. It's worth a try. Lara could you make a fire and bake some dampers? As they harder than bread. As the torrents of water may well swamp us we need hard tack to sustain us. There will be plenty of fish, provided they are not poisoned. The children can gather nuts and fruit. It's Autumn and there is a bumper crop and it will take their minds off ttheir fears. Cedric would have preferred to join the kids but under Motryms eagle eye, he reluctantly took an axe and began to chop. He hated destroying natural things. He secretly thought building an ark was a waste of time but decided to tow the line. The women bent to their tasks,muttering and casting black looks at Motrym. They, too, thought it was a waste of their labours. Motrym, not wanting to blister his hands, began to stack up empty bladders. These would add buoyancy to the raft when inflated. All of them beavered all day until the gathering dusk made their toils nigh impossible. Hands cramped and bodies acheing they ceased their labours and........

ate the good-natured animals that had sacrificed their bladders which now blown up would provide the buoyancy necessary to the floating of the raft. The children fresh from collecting fruit and nuts protested that they wanted pizza burgers or chicken nuggets rather than the slabs of pork roasted against an open fire. The squalling and pestering being harder to bear in the circumstances they children were peremptorily ordered up to bed without benefit of supper. A mission unlikely to be accomplished as their were no beds or upstairs available but like most in charge of children the crew facts ignored the facts. The smell of roasting pork wafted through the trees enticing

wild wolves and wold boar to the bushes and remaining trees close to the encampment. "Oh god", said Sir Motrym, "that's all we need. Cedric, Can you sttash the roast hog in Bertha's larder. Fortunately her house is just at the edge of the clearing and catipuault the fatty bits to the animals. It will help to keep them at bay. (Well that's the thoery He thought to himself)" Oh and you women chuck some more wood on the fires.It too will keep the animals at bay". Cedric slung the joints over his shoulder and trudged to Bertha's abode. He was fed up and so tired, as were the others. He wanted to cooch down and sleep. It had been a very long day. He was even annoyed by the children, bickering, arguinga and generally making a nuisance of themselves. "Chicken dippers and hamburghers", he muttered. "What next?" The parents, swaddled their kids in the remaining leather hides, and tried to get them to settle down. Bertha, so wise. drew her flute from her pocket and played. Nothing like a good lullaby to settle them, she thought. She, like Cedric was in tune with nature and shaman-like blew the hypnotic notes. The wild boar and wolves hunkered down and slept. The haunting tunes had induced them to sleep. They had sated their hunger on the pork scraps. The group breathed sighs of relief. For another time danger had been averted. What would happen next!

A sudden flash followed by an overwhelming bang woke the assembled animals and humans, consternation and tumult as the bleary eyed struggled to their feet, the more susceptible to panic yelling that it was the crack of doom while Cedric insisted it was merely a bolide event somewhere in the surrounding area. the supernatural won the day as few of the others knew what he was talking about and lamentations and gnashing of teeth broke out. The animals had merely dispersed, the wolves with their tails between their legs the wild boar chugging away the best they knew how, the children howling and speaking in tongues like refugees from a fundamentalist Jesus camp pointing to the moon bloody and big in the sky. Bertha's flute charms could barely be heard as she tried breathlessly to calm with the music that 'has charms to soothe the savage breast (or beast) irrelevant really as the beasts had scattered, but still she hoped to quieten the beastliness of the caterwauling and to

its amusement Omnione regarded all this from a very distant future. These quaint little creatures, desperate to validate themselves with what they considered to be well chosen words. Tripping and contradicting each other because it was possible. Of course, for them, the journey was the thing, not a destination, a conclusion should be resisted at all costs! How else could they continue to satisfy their own egos? Some egos were more fragile than others, Omnione observed, it recalled an ancient expression, something about heat, kitchens and leaving the vicinity. If Omnione had possessed a head or mouth, it would have shook it and smiled. Omnione did not and so did not. The entity folded in on itself, which was in fact outside itself. It resumed it's state of non-being, very comfortable in the far distant future.

Omnuione's antagonist raised an eyebrow at this need for resolution, tempted to speculate that the non-being found the random nature of fun too much to take. Meanwhile in another of the many possible universes tea was being taken.
The slightly faded version of Royal Leamington Spa existing in this universe and its slightly more faded bath tea room was graced on this occasion by Lady Strathmnorish, Mrs Belvedere, my Gran, aunt Biddy and me. there were of course a scattering of others at a few other tables but they are of no interest.
I'd been advised that little boys should be seen and not heard so was able to observe as was my wont, just then an extraordinary thing happened and

I carried on chewing. I knew how to mind my Ps and Q's. Anyway as a young lad I had a bottomless pit of a stomach and it was rare for me to be let out of the nursery, so I made the most of the scones, fancy sandwiches and seed cake. I left the adults to their machinations and fear. Truth to tell I had cut off from the tea partakers, except to mumble and nod my head when I saw fit. I found the conversation and the petty need to wax lyrical over a tea session boring and anyway, I just wanted to enjoy the food. I would have preferred a burgher or chicken nuggets, much like the other kids in this story, but did not dare to voice this! Let,s face it our so-called olders and betters, I wish, think they know everything about taste and what is suitable for us. They know nothing! Fat, Fries and flabby frankfurters are necctar to us. They just do not know what they are missing! Who cares about obesity scores and BMI's! The drone of adults was wiped ot by the rattling of china. Suddenly my reverries were interrupted by a shreak from Aunt Hermione." "Boy man up. Gird your loins" (what the heck were loins! I Did like a nice lamb loin. But where weree my loins? I searched my body in vain. Lamb loins, fat. Does she mean my bum? Or my stomach? Even I knew that I was rather big but what part of me as she referring to? Bit of a cheek really because she is no slim nymph. Bit like Bertha but not so nice! I rose from my chewing, drew myself up as high as a young boy can do and said with more bravado than I felt: "Ladies do not fret. The machinations on this table are merely a manifestation of........(Prep school had taught me complicated words. I did not know what they meant but to me they sounded convincing and they rolled off the tongue. Suddenly this mere mortal, Sir Motrym was important or would be in thirty years when I had earnt my spurs. But we can all dream. Without dreaming childhood could be shit! Whoops shouldn't know that word but I do. I only say to my friends- it makes me look big and it is nice to feel this when the so-called adults think they knnow better than you. They don't. Because we are relatively immature we have not been so-called socialised. We say it as it is. Returning to Aunt Hermione, unfortunately, and her vapours I said or I think I did (Looking back it is all misty)