I'm an absolute newbie to this site. I'm very glad that I found this site and your post. Would you mind elaborating on the topic title? Why aren't you an inspirational cripple? Is is it that you find it offensive for non-disabled persons to assume that you care if they are inspired or repulsed by you?
Re: I'm not an inspirational cripple
5 years 10 months ago #48151
rather oddly I never thought about placing it on here until I was sent another email about another fake profile wanting to contact me, now deleted.
So here I am and thought as there are disability sufferes on here I will link my blog here. There is much more than just the disability issues each one more shocking than the last.
I remember meeting a generally friendly couple who asked told me 'You probably find Tanni Grey (no Thompson then) a real inspiration', they were shocked when I replied that I didn't. I gave a few seconds for this to sink in then explained that I wasn't a wheelchair racer so her efforts though admirable were not particularly relevant to my life and circumstances.
They then switched to Douglas Bader a man who knew that he was capable of flying and proved it against all opposition. Perhaps I don't find/need inspiration in others achievements but I disappointed them again. Bader did what was possible and good for him but again his life and difficulties were not mine.
I was once accosted by a silly middle-aged woman who crossed the road to tell me how brave I was to be in the city centre in a wheelchair; I felt sorry for her that she found such a slight thing inspirational. The same woman told me 'You just want to be accepted don't you.' To which the answer was no, I only wished I could accept other people! Actually I said nothing but watched her scuttle away wiping her eyes and congratulating herself on the comforting words she'd offered this poor unfortunate.
Not having a female friend at the time and she not having a repulsive form and face if she'd told me I just wanted to spend a few minutes hidden in the shrubbery with her I might have been tempted! Accepted is not something I've ever wanted to be....
Whenever I go on holiday people come up to me and say 'I just want to say your amazing being disabled and happy your such an inspiration to people' I just look at them like they have lost their mind and say 'I'm on holiday of course I'm going to be happy aren't you?' It's like if your disabled and happy is a strange thing, why can't we be happy and disabled?
Why do people feel the need to approach strangers with an obvious physical impairment and make comments and suggestion? A sense of self-importance generating the need to assert themselves as kind to cripples is my preferred reason at this time.
What would the world say about someone who responded by saying I wonder how you look so happy with such an ugly face!?!
Are disabled people "Inspirational"? Not automatically. But our section of society is no different to the able-bodied one, in that, statistcally there must be a few 'good ones' amongst us. I've only been 'part' of the disabled 'world' for a relatively short time, and reading some of the profiles on this site I know that I am one of the 'lucky' ones. Many people deal with or overcome greater problems than my own. If I'm having a bad day or feeling a bit sorry for myself, I can at least take courage from those 'doers', 'copers' and 'livers of life'. I think we should also take into account the "There but for the grace of God / (good fortune) go I" factor. Some people who don't have a disability themselves nor ever interacted with people who do, may be unable to even imagine what it is like to be "a bit different". That is a very scary thing for some. When I was in hospital after my 'Op' , a young man who was visiting his grandmother came over and began asking me questions. I told him the facts. When I finished he shook his head and said, "I feel so sorry for you...". Err thanks! Also in hospital, I loved scooting around the beautifully wide, flat, corridors - I even became 'expert' at zipping through heavy double doors, not that difficult once I got the knack. Some people (nurses included) thought this was a wonderful trick - ("Poor old guy, tries so hard, bless him..."). I may have "inspired" one or two!
I went out with a really good looking sexy guy who was confined to a wheelchair it made no difference he was just as ablebodied as other guys I had dated his knee was always a safe perch for me, its how you perceive yourself I look at the man not the disability, he came in really handy if I had one drink to many.