It,s the way you tell em

I was sitting on a park bench and a guy walked past with a lettuce on the end of a dog lead..
Why,in the name of sanity are you pulling along that lettuce on a lead...
He stopped..looked puzzled and said...The pet shop told me it was a Colly xxxxx;)

Why are divorces so expensive.
Because they are worth it:)<br><br>Post edited by: Scotty, at: 2008/08/20 13:16

Why is a woman like a Tornado ????



They are noisy as heck when they come....and when they go they take half the house xxx boom boom xxxx;) :whistle:

Lulu was a prostitute. One day there was a raid. All the prostitutes
Were lined up outside the police station as they took them in one by one.
As Lulu stood in line, she saw her Grandma coming down the street and
Was so ashamed, Grandma didn't know her occupation. Grandma stopped to say
Hi and asked what the line was for.
Lulu, saving face, said that the police were giving away fresh oranges
To those waiting.
Grandma said wonderful, she loved oranges and got at the end of the line.
When the policeman got to the end and saw her, he was amazed.

He said, 'How the heck do you do this at your age?'
She said, 'I just take out my teeth, rip the skin back and suck 'em
Dry!'
The policeman fainted.

good one karl :lol: :silly: :woohoo:

virgin girl is on the phone and asks her boyfriend to come over and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex
before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get
some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and
the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.

He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents
house and meets his girlfriend at the door. \&quot;Oh, I'm
so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!\&quot;

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table
where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly
offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,
with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, \&quot;I had no idea you were this religious.\&quot;

The boy turns, and whispers back, \&quot;I had no idea your
father was a pharmacist.\&quot;

Great joke Cheeky I love it:lol:

hahahaha wicked joke cheeky! I seem to remember this from the pubs some years ago and it,s still hilarious now. Nice one!!:woohoo: :laugh: :blink: :whistle:

It was my first time ever
And I'll never forget.
I'd do it again
Without a single regret.
The sky was dark.
The moon was high.
We were all alone
Just she and I.
Her hair was soft.
Her eyes were blue.
I knew just what
She wanted to do.
Her skin so soft.
Her legs so fine.
I ran my fingers
Down her spine.
I didn't know how,
But I tried my best. I started by placing
My hands on her breast.
I remember my fear,
My fast beating heart,
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart.
And when I did it
I felt no shame.
All at once
The white stuff came.
At last it's finished
It's all over now.
My first time ever
At milking a cow...

A man suspected his wife of cheating on him, so he hired a famous chinese detective Dr. Yogosaki Hiroshima. He told him to keep an eye on his wife and see what she does the whole week and report back to him. A week later the man recieves this report from the chinese detective:

You leave house.

He come house.

He and she leave house.

I follow.

He and she get on train.

I follow.

He and she get off train.

I follow.

He and she go into hotel.

I climb tree, look in window.

He kiss she.

She kiss he.

He strip she.

She strip he.

He play with she.

She play with he.

I play with me.

Fall out of tree.

No see.

No fee.

I was living the life of Riley last week, but the police caught me, and i had to give him his cash cards back.

Charles dickens walks into a bar and asks for a martini, the barman says Olive or twist, boom boom.

karl I love the 2 new jokes you put up.and bjm i love your short ones :laugh: