It,s the way you tell em

Scotty wrote:

When God finished his creation of Adam,he stepped back scratched his head and said\"I can do better than that\"

and created eve who was a masterpiece :evil:

An elderly couple were at a church service, half way through she leans over and whispers to her husband i just let out a silent fart,wot do you think about that? he replies put a new battery in your hearing aid.:laugh:

What do you call a pig that does karate.A pork chop:)

Theres a new Doll on the market...
Its got no clothes..
Its got no shoes..
Its got no make-up..
Its got no house..
Its got no car...
Its got nothing whatsoever..
Its called Zimbarbie xxxx :whistle:

Doctor I have a serious problem,I can never remember what I just said.When did you first notice this problem.What problem:)

Man goes into Library an asks for a book on..Suicide..
P..s off says the Librarian..You wont bring it back xxx boom boom xxx :ohmy: :lol:

Man comes home from work and tels his wifehes been sacked....What for she asks...
Well, you know I work in the meat section....I was caught with my manhood in the meat-slicer...
In the name of good hygiene practice and decent behaviour...what made you do it and what did they do to the Slicer...???
Ive no idea what came over me...it was a brain-malfunction....
as for the meat-slicer...they sacked Her too xxx boom boom...(old but still kicking joke ) xxxx :ohmy: :sick:

A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the old west.He sidles up to the bar and announces\"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw\"

Man in the fast lane of the M6 ,doing 115 mph.pulls into middle lane to allow a three legged chicken to pass..
Astounded by the experiance he tries to follow the Chicken...It pulls off at next junction...going down lanes at 75 mph,our driver only just keeps it in view...
It runs into a Farm Yard and the driver Screams to a stop.....Whats up said the Farmer...
Did you see a three Chicken come in....askede the driver..
Yes,we breed them..it was probably Nancy...
What do they taste like..asks our driver..
No idea..says farmer...never been able to catch one xxxxxxx :blink: :whistle:

Why dont Oysters give to charity.Because they are shellfish.

Went into my local pub last week and saw an old school friend who has been in Iraque as a soldier...He got his left ear shot off....
Anyway,we chatted for a while..then I asked what he was drinking...
He said...Im OK Ive got one ere xxxx :blink: :whistle: :side:

Can a bloke with crabs claim for his nippers.