It,s the way you tell em

I joined the gym last week,instructor said i had a body like a god, (Bhudda)

Three Lepers playing poker,one could never win so he threw his hand in,the other two laughed their heads off.:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :silly: :silly:

A guy walks into a bar and asks for a pint of less,barman says never heard of that, is it foreign? guy says i dont know, docter told me to drink less.

Viagra-now availablein solubable form to put in your tea.it dosn,t help your sex life, but it stops your biscuits going soft.

Bought my mother-in-law a new chair 4 her birthday,but the spoilsport wont plug it in.

Three nuns died and were waiting outside the gates of heaven.You must all answer a question before you can come in said the gatekeeper.Question no1. who was the first man on earth.Thats easy said the first nun it was Adam,that,s correct you may enter my child.Question no2.who was the first woman on earth.That,s easy said the second nun it was Eve,that,s correct you may enter my child.Question no3. what were the first words Eve said to Adam.Oh that,s a hard one, said the third nun ,correct enter my child. :blush: :blush:

A very flat chested woman goes to a posh store and asks for a size 28AAAA BRA,she is told they haven,t,after having no luck at a further 3 stores she goes to a hypermarket and throws open her blouse and says do you have anything for this? the assistant says have you tried clearasil. Boom Boom.

Man went to the Doctors in alot of pain, what,s the problem said the Doc.I have a mince pie stuck up my bottom,oh I will give you some cream for that.:sick: :woohoo: :silly:

I think the jokes are good scotty and bjm..

Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I,m a pair of curtains,go away and pull youself together then.:lol::woohoo: :silly:

Iused to work in a candle factory,packed it in after a day,got on my wick.

An old man goes to see a wizard to get a curse lifted after 20yrs,wot were the words used to put the curse on you asked the wizard,? the old man replied,I now pronounce you man and wife.