Sex with disabled people

SEXUALITY AND PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES



by Marilyn M. Irwin



Center for Disability Information & Referral
Institute for the Study of Developmental Disabilities



In general society, sex has been considered a taboo topic -- unless, of course, you are a radio disc jockey or comedy club comedian. Accurate information about all aspects of sexuality is often felt to be something one should keep under the counter or wrapped in brown paper, and any questions about it, if asked at all, are whispered. Overall, the topic of sexuality makes people uncomfortable, and moral and religious considerations often overshadow the need to provide accessible accurate information. Add disabilities to the equation and further complications present themselves. Sexuality information for people with disabilities and their families is available, but finding it may be a problem for the very people who need it. This article will discuss the importance of having sexuality information available for people with disabilities and raise issues for consideration by libraries.

www.iidc.indiana.edu/cedir/sexuality.html

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Sorry, don't know how I got it here twice. Wish I know how to delete it.<br><br>Post edited by: DAEMONICUSMEDICUS, at: 2007/10/03 02:37

This should never ever be a taboo subject, people with a disability may just need to find a suitable position that enables them to have and enjoy sex.

Into any search engine, type karma sutra yes it's a sex position site, but it offers positions that may help people.

the group has closed now. but i reccomend www.outsiders.org.uk

From www.drpetra.co.uk/blog/?p=91

A new survey conducted on readers of the magazine Disability Now reveals shocking findings showing how the sexual and emotional needs of disabled people are consistently being ignored.

Many respondents reported low self-esteem and requested more counselling services. They also requested access to sex surrogates who could enable them to enjoy sex, as well as higher profile media coverage featuring disabled people.

Respondents also felt health care professionals were unable or unwilling to discuss their sexual needs. This follows a recent discussion within the British Medical Journal, where many practitioners supported the idea of sex surrogates for disabled people. Disability Now’s survey went one step further, showing that many readers were in favour of legalising prostitution.

The survey indicated how less than half the respondents had been given any formal sex education. These figures are even lower in groups of people who’ve experience of mental distress.

In the UK, we currently ignore issues of sex relating to disability or mental health. Many people with disabilities feel guilty for having sexual desires, uncertain where to ask for help, and often are criticised or ignored by health professionals for discussing sex-related issues.

Sexual rights are human rights, so it’s unclear why those who are disabled are denied access to sexual pleasure or information. I’ve heard countless stories from people who need sex advice and feel completely isolated.

Like the young blind guy who wanted an aural guide on how to put on a condom (he also drew my attention to the lack of erotic material available for the visually impaired). Or the older couple where the wife had recently had a stroke. They had no idea how to get their sex life back on track, and their GP had suggested there was ‘no need to try’. Or a wheelchair user who wanted to join a dating agency but didn’t know if he could, or should, mention his disability.

We need to support health care providers to feel less embarrassed about discussing sex. But sex isn’t really a medical issue, any more than disability is. We need comprehensive sex education aimed at everyone, erotic material accessible in diverse formats, and sex surrogates available for those who want their services.

Those with disabilities or mental health issues can get support from The Outsider’s Trust who offer advice and information, as well as social activities for people to meet, have fun, and form relationships.

The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disability is also a fantastic resource

Later this year the Sex and Disability Alliance will give professionals and disabled people the chance to start working together to improve sex resources.

And we can continue to pressure health providers, educators and the media to celebrate sexual diversity.

I have been paralyzed since 1989 . and I still have all the desires that I did before becoming paralyzed. Not being able to satisfy myself and having to rely on others to assist me can be a delicate and uncomfortable ordeal. And not having the motor skills to actually perform masturbation on myself is impossible. And finding a so-called surrogate I have found to be almost impossible.

I have had caregivers that after being with me for a long period of time became somewhat comfortable with that as part of my care. It is a very delicate matter that has to be handled carefully. If I had asked them directly to perform manual masturbation in most cases it would be considered sexual-harassment. And you could lose services from a agency or institution.

But since I am at home and hire my own caregivers through a program set up for people with disabilities to save money by illuminating the nursing agencies I have found that if you build up a good relationship with your caregiver in some cases they will look at it just part of your care and well-being.

I heard a few years ago, carers in Holland have to perform masturbation on their clients. I don't know if this is true or not!?

If your carers are happy doing this, I cant see no problems.

Are your carers female or male?

To answer your question all of my caregivers are females , but I'm only comfortable with one of them that has been with me for quite some time engaging in such matters.

Believe me I would rather find someone to be with as a boyfriend or someone who has mutual needs and would enjoy my company not only sexually . but just to spend quality time with. Which I have found pretty difficult to find someone who is interested in being together as boyfriend and girlfriend or to satisfy each other sexual needs.

I did have a caregiver years ago , that we had a mutual agreement that we could take care of each others sexual needs and keep it as that. She didn't want a relationship other than the time we spent together while she was giving me care and both of us satisfying each others needs.

Loco you said:

\&quot;But since I am at home and hire my own caregivers through a program set up for people with disabilities to save money by illuminating the nursing agencies ......\&quot;

wot iz this program??


xx suzan xx

Loco wrote:

Believe me I would rather find someone to be with as a boyfriend or someone who has mutual needs and would enjoy my company not only sexually . but just to spend quality time with. Which I have found pretty difficult to find someone who is interested in being together as boyfriend and girlfriend or to satisfy each other sexual needs.

Dating is hard for anyone at the best of times but to have a disability is bloody harder - prejudices are just a couple of things that can hold people back from pursuing a relationship. But the internet is breaking down barriers as you can talk online without telling them about your disability. However, this is hard to do without lying to them.

Regarding your carers, are they the same age as you? Are they single or in a relationship?

Susan goes through a place called Center for disability rights. Which enables you to hire your own caregivers , either people you know or people they have on a phone system. Where you can post the position you have open and they can reply

Karl as for the question about the age of my caregivers some are younger and some are older. Age is just a number to me as long as we are both consenting adults.:woohoo:<br><br>Post edited by: Loco, at: 2008/01/04 04:06