Joke of the day

thought i would put my bit in :blink:

There's been a big fight in the biscuit tin.
a bandit called Rocky, who was crackers,
hit a penguin over the head with a club,
tied him to a wagon wheel with a blue
ribband and made his breakaway in a
taxi, police say \"rocky was last seen
just after eight by a viscount from maryland,
hobnobbing with a gingernut,and two
accomplices, one known as Gary baldi,
and the othere known only as rich T\",
Unfortunatly they dont't have a crumb of
evidence. :blink: :huh: :ohmy:

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot.
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, \"Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn't dance a single step!\" \"So?\" asked the duck's former owner, \"did you remember to light the candle under the pot?\"

Whats more annoying than the dog chewing your shoes ?????

The Killer Whale eating your trainer xxxx


I know..not PC...all complaints to Karl please xxxxx :laugh:

A drunk guy approaches a cute girl in a singles bar. “Hi Babe, how about a date? He says. “Don’t waste your time. I never go out with a perfect stranger.”
“It seems we are both in luck. I’m far from perfect.”

Dont understand it...Ive just been banned from a new Muslim clothes shop....Got no idea what their problem is ???? All I did was go in and ask for a size 42 chest Bomber Jacket xxxx

Paddy says to Mick . \"My wife has just had twins\" Mick says . who do they look like ? Paddy says , each other you daft twat!

Chris Tarrant said to Wayne Bridge.....on Celebrity Millionaire....For £32000..What is the colour of your ex girlfriends pubic hair..Is it a...Brown.....b...Red....c....Blonde....d....Ginger....
Wayne said...I dont remember Chris..Can I phone a friend ?? xxxx

Got home & found the wife dead in the washing machine earlier. I'm fucking gutted....But at least she died in Comfort :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Want to cheer yourself up....Watch your Wedding Video backwards..Youll love seeing her take her ring off ,walk down the aisle,jump into car and pi.. off xxxx;)

IN THE NEWS THIS WEEK......British Olympic Gold Medal winner Amy Williams thanked David Beckham for his invaluable advice on the best way to ride a Skeleton xxxx

A frog goes into a bank and hops up to a teller. He can see from her name plate that she is called Patricia Whack,
so he says \"Ms. Whack, I'd like to borrow $30,000, please.\"
The teller asks for his name and the frog replies that he is Kermit Jagger, son of Mick Jagger, and a personal friend of the bank manager. Unconvinced, Ms. Whack explains she will need some identity and also some security against his loan. The frog produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant and hands it to her.
The confused teller says she will have to consult with her manager. 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger at the counter who wants to borrow $30,000,\" she tells her boss. \"And what do you think this elephant is about?\"
The manager looks back at her and says \"It's a knick-knack, Patti Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone.'

My wife has thrown me out, because she's fed up with me masturbating in bed every night. She said it was getting on her tits :ohmy: :ohmy: :ohmy: