JOKE OF THE DAY

Why are husbands like lawn Mowers?

They're hard to get started, emit foul odours and don't work half the time!!

(only joking hubbies out there - I think LOL)

thanks shygirl!

How many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb?

One. She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her.

Two Mexicans are lost in the desert. They see a tree in the distance. As they get nearer they see that it's draped with rashers of juicy bacon.

"Hey Pepe," says the first man, "Ees a bacon tree, we're saved."

Then he runs to the tree but is gunned down in a hail of bullets"

"What happened?" shouts Pepe.

With his last breath his friend shouts, "Run amigo, ees not a bacon tree, ees a ham bush!!"

Hi-di-hi campers. Here's today's offering:-

Finding one of her pupils making faces at others in the playground, Miss Barker, their teacher, stopped to gently reprove the child.

Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, "Tony, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.

Tony looked up and replied, "Well, Miss Barker, you can't say you weren't warned!"

A pregnant Irish woman from Dublin gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am you had twins - a boy and a girl. Your brother from Cork came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, 'Oh no, not my brother....he's an idiot!' She asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" "Denise" replies the doctor. "Wow, that's not a bad name, I like it! What's the boy's name?"

"Denephew!!"