It,s the way you tell em

Fourth year of marraige they both stop speakin an the kids start bellowin LOL

Year five ....TV and Radio become the centre of conversation xxxx;)

Shoot me now ffs xxxx:blink:

It is but just a gust of wind that cometh from the heart.
It's when it takes a downward turn it ends up in a Fart:blush: :blush: <br><br>Post edited by: Scotty, at: 2008/08/15 10:31

A farmer gets a call from his son,ive accidently run over a pig and it is stuck under the tractor squealing,shoot it and bury it says farmer,son phones back and says its done,but wot shall i do with the speed camera.

Wanting a portrait with which to surprise his wife, a businessman asked a blonde female painter he'd been recommended to paint him in the nude.

\&quot;No,\&quot; the talented blonde artist said. \&quot;I don\&quot;t do that sort of thing.\&quot;

\&quot;But what if I double your fee?\&quot; he pleaded.

\&quot;Nope, sorry. Won't do it.\&quot;

\&quot;How about I give you five times what you normally get?\&quot;

\&quot;Oh, okay then,\&quot; said the artist, \&quot;but I'm keeping my socks on. I need a place to put my brushes.\&quot;

Tommy. Can you teach me to do the splits
Gym Teacher \&quot;how flexible are you\&quot;
Tommy.Well I cant make Tuesdays.:lol:

JOKE is deleted because it is racist.

Please do not tell any racist jokes<br><br>Post edited by: Able_Here_Team, at: 2008/08/15 19:04

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman
\&quot;Frostbite\&quot;

Why does'nt Dracula have friends.
Cos he's a pain in the neck:)

A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting on the patio, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn.

Cheryl from next door saw us and was so upset that she came over and yelled at me....'You lazy sod! Sitting there drinking beer while your poor wife pushes that ancient lawn mower around! Get up off your backside and give her a break!'

I thought 'Women!' Took another swig from my stubby, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my sunnies, stared directly at this nosey cow and told her in no uncertain terms 'Shove off and mind your own business. My wife has green fingers, and she really enjoys gardening'.

After a few days I felt really bad , so I went out and bought her a ride-on mower to show my sensitive side. I am so proud of the deal I got. I am also proud that my wife can now sit down while mowing the lawn. Yes guys , after all we should take good care of our wives ... that way maybe they will take good care of us.

I have attached a picture below. I hope it comes through OK [see below]




I'M TOO BLOODY SOFT WITH HER, SHE WILL WANT GEARS ON IT NEXT.

:lol: good one karl

Why are there gates round graveyards.Because everyones dying to get in:lol: