Joke of the Day

I thought that my new girlfriend was the One...until I looked through her knicker drawer and found..a Nurses Uniform...a French Maids Uniform..and a Policewomans Uniform....She obviously cant hold down a job xxxx

Ashley Cole....Bosingwa...Malouda...Obi Mikel..Sturridge....Anelka...Drogba..Essien...Ramires...Kalou.....ALL affectionately known as...Terrys Chocolates

The wife brought home a tub of ice-cream and asked if I wanted some. "How hard is it?" I asked. She cheekily replied, "As hard as your penis when you're thinking about me naked!". I said "Go on then, pour me a glass....."

Cash4Gold have confirmed that they are arranging Jimmy Savills funeral xxxx

One of the Pearly Gates has broken, but it's ok, Jim'll Fix It!

Man says to wife "your arse is the size of a 3 burner BBQ!" Later in bed he says "fancy a s***?" Wife replies "no ta, no point lighting the bbq for half a sausage..!" :lol: