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Joke of the Day

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14 years 6 months ago #42102 by tonypark
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I took a young lady back to my bedroom the other night and as I was stripping her of her clothes a voice from the bed said....Hope its not that Fat bird again......What was that ..said the young lady......Ignore it says I...Its my new Memory Foam Matress :laugh:

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14 years 5 months ago #42118 by tonypark
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I told my new girlfriend not to turn her head away when she was completing BJ..But did she listen..the heck she did...Just went in one ear and out the other ;)

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14 years 5 months ago #42140 by Karl
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I was showing my doctor a nasty rash on my willy today, he seemed pretty uncomfortable and didn't want to touch it. He just said make an appointment for Monday morning, and carried on pushing his shopping trolley around Morrissons

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14 years 5 months ago #42141 by tonypark
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I opened the door for a stunning blond at the pub the other night...The wife said...You never opened the door for me....
I said...Oh yes...a nd what about that time you threatened to leave ;)

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14 years 5 months ago #42180 by tonypark
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How do people have their drinks on an Italian Cruise Liner ?? ...On the rocks

What is the most unwanted vegetable on Italian Cruise Liner ??...Leeks

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14 years 5 months ago #42199 by Karl
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"Premature ejaculator.
Seeks blonde female with massive tits & waxed........ wait.... .........oh no. it doesn't matter"

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14 years 5 months ago #42218 by Karl
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3 parrots for sale at £170, £150 and £10. Woman asks 'why is that parrot so cheap?' shopkeeper replies 'it used to live in a brothel'. The woman finds it funny and buys it, she gets it home and the parrot says ' a new brothel!' the woman laughs, her two daughters come home and the parrot says ' new girls!' and they laugh, when her husband walks in the parrot says 'Hi paul! Long time no see'

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14 years 5 months ago #42226 by tonypark
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Jonathan Ross has been acused of shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Tesco...He said it was a Whisk he was prepared to take xxxx

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14 years 5 months ago #42227 by tonypark
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My wife was devastated when her PIP breast implants ruptured,leaking industrial grade silicone..
However, now she has had her nipples pierced ,weve been able to seal around the bath,kitchen sink and toilet cistern ....

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14 years 5 months ago #42338 by Karl
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A man goes to the doctor complaining of voices coming from his underpants.
The doctor says "Ignore them, they're talking bollocks." :lol: :woohoo:

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14 years 5 months ago #42358 by Karl
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My budgie got out of his cage and shagged the dog... If you're interested, I've got some puppies going cheep........

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14 years 5 months ago #42374 by tonypark
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The Tottenham Hotspur reserve team are back in full training after their recent Jury Service

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