A cowboy appeared before
St. Peter at the Pearly Gate.
'Have you ever done
anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked.
'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy
'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota,
I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young
woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they
wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and
most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face,
kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw
it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off or
I'll kick the crap out of all of you!'
HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD
AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.
George Phillips, an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked, "Is someone in your house?"
He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.
Then the police dispatcher said, "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available.."
George said, "Okay."
He hung up the phone and counted to 30. Then he phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed.. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot and killed them both, the dogs are eating them right now." and he hung up.
Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
(True Story) I LOVE IT!
Don't mess with old people.