What happened next

keen to persue whatever it's original pupose had been. There was a blinding flash and it was gone. "I really must be going now" said Will to no one in particular. Cedric handed him his copy of Winnie the Pooh which he had retrieved from where it had fallen. Will dropped the book into his shopping basket and was away. In an unfeasably short amount of time he travelled a remarkable distance and was soon beyond sight or hearing - and any influence that might seek to make it otherwise..."Strange bloke" said Bertha, then took out her flute and began to play again. Suddenly...

Bertha stopped playing. There was silence. You know how sometimes, when it's really quiet, you can almost hear your own pulse in your ears? Well, it was like that. Well, I assume most people have experienced the "pulse" thing in their ears, when it's very quiet. If not, I'll tell you what it sounds like. It goes, "Bump bump, bump bump...", quite slowly, unless you've just been running or something, any strenuous physical activity, then the bumps will probably be faster. But It wasn't like that, it was silent. In a way, I wish I hadn't mentioned the pulse in the ears thing, it just detracts from the total silence I'm trying to describe. Ok, ignore anything you just read about bumping. There was no bumping, just total silence. If you can't imagine the concept of total silence, because I put the idea of "bumping" into your head, I'm sorry. Have we all got this now? There was silence. No bumping remember? Total, complete, bump-free silence. (I hope that putting "bump-free" into that last bit didn't start off down the "pulse in the ears" train of thought, because we don't need that!) Bertha began to play again. Suddenly...

last Summer, God noticed the egg-plant he'd been nurturing had begun to wilt, 'Damn, God snarled (it was his day off from being loving)sodding vine weevil. Why in hell's name did I create them in the first place?' Then his attention wandered, so much on his mind, back to the drama of Bertha and

her flute playing. The strange, haunting melody seemed to go on forever. Time almost stood still. From his vantage point at the center of EVERYTHING, God, was still annoyed with himself for creating the vine weevil. From New Orleans to Spain, they were just a pest, however you looked at it. God drummed his fingers on a cloud that he kept just for that purpose. He frowned at the scene before him. When were these mortals going to do something? He could easily intervene if he chose to of course, but that would be a bit Old Testament. He prefered to keep a low profile these days. He enjoyed moving in mysterious ways, his wonders to perform. He was tempted to give the idiot Cedric a labotomy, but no, he'd just come up with an insect resistant egg plant instead. Bertha played on...

strange things began to happen people heard her strange medoly and began to gather round. Cedric still stood like a melon doing not a lot.Suddenly they started to dance, the melody was quite haunting, from a graveyard close by a long line of lost souls, their spirit lights glowing in the gathering dusk began

to tumble back into the abyss whence they had come. Olaf the last to tumble had a sign on his back, beloved of the humans NIMBY- hendid not understand it but it made him laugh. Humans were weird. With the dead you knew where you were. Bertha, meanwhile was haunting the glade with her melodious music. She could shoot from the her vast ample hips but could hold a good tune. They did not call her big bertha for nothing! Boy could she shoot. Meanwhile Cedric was still dallying with the damsels who were making more sense. Needless to say William de Smythe had departed - teleported on his steed to where we know not.To obtain his elixer or get his batteries charged we know not.. Peace had descended. Soothing sunlight dappled the glade. Serenity enshewed. Peace to all and tranquility. Succluent and soothing, suave even and then ...........